Cherishing the moments...

I was thinking today about when I was in high school and the times I used to spend with my best friend. Watching movies on weekends, (Most of which were sappy love stories, or intense thrillers. Those were the two categories we always stayed with for some reason...) going to Dairy Queen whenever we had "boy talk" to discuss, baking together, skipping school for a day just to spend time together, going to lunch at Fraisers... we had so much fun just being together. Though I have a wonderful family now that I am married, I do miss those times. I miss her. I miss her smile and her kindness, I miss finding little gifts that she had bought me just because...I miss calling her when I was bored, and I miss loving Christmastime because she just got so excited around that holiday!

I miss my mom....she was my best friend. She was the most wonderful woman I have ever known, and I think that I will ever know. She was so faithful, so strong. Most girls probably wouldn't have wanted to spend their high school weekends at home with their mom, but I loved it! I wouldn't have had it any other way. I am so thankful God allowed us to have those special times together before he took her home to be with him. Its going to be 4 years in June. I can hardly believe it. Even so, it is still so difficult to be without her sometimes. I find it hard to let people into my life because I subconsciously feel like, if its not my mom I'm loving, I don't want to love someone else instead. I've been working on that, but it is still hard. I know she wouldn't have wanted it that way. She loved people. She always reminded me of the postive.

She used to pray for Robby and I all the time. She hardly even knew Robby. She just knew that I had a crush on him and for some reason (I think God let her see a little glimpse into the future) she knew we were going to get married. She told me we were going to get married. How did she know that???? I'm so honored to have had a mom like that.

I remember when she was in the hospital she told me that when her mom had died, she thought her world was over. She thought her life would never be the same, but that God gave her my dad and my brothers and I. She said we brought her more joy than she could have imagined. That her life became full again.

I'm feeling that now. Though I sit with tears running down my face typing this, I do feel that joy. Though my mom is gone, God has replaced pain, anger and emptiness with two wonderful guys (my Robby and my Trey) that I love. and my relationship with my dad and brothers is much stronger than it was 4 years ago. Now I have a new best friend, my husband, and new memories to share. For all of this, I am so thankful.