I don't have a ton of close friends. I mean, I have friends, but many super close ones. You know, those friends you just can't wait to get together with. The ones that you know you can tell anything in the world. The ones that you might make plans with to come over and paint for a few hours, but then you just sit and end up talking because you just love being refreshed by each other. Or someone that decides to come over at 10 one night to play board games just because. That is Sarah. She's not dramatic (well, maybe just a teeny bit :)) She's not high maintenance or hard to please. We share so many of the same dreams. I love her. Well, she moved to Michigan in July. I think I cried for three days. It has been no fun. Even though we met when we moved here, I've never felt like anyone could have been a better friend. She was the closest thing I've ever had to a sister. Its been a huge bummer to be without her. She's definitely the closest friend I've had since my mom. Its been so hard to know she's not close. To know I can't just call her up and go meet her to hang out. I know God is teaching me to rely on him but its just so dang hard. I miss my friend.
I have a hard time with people that aren't "committed" to things. Like people that say they will do something and don't follow through. I know I need to show more grace, but thats a really tough one for me. About a month and a half ago when we found out that a member of our church community had relapsed on drugs I felt like God was telling me to get ready. I didn't really know what for, but I knew that He was telling me that we were about to step into something tough. He told me to be reminded that addicts can't exactly be relied upon. That the drugs run the show. That we would be ministering to them and that I would have to have abundant grace that I could only get from Him. Boy. He. was. right. In the past few months we have been loving on numerous current/recovering addicts. It's just so hard to see someones life so torn. So in shambles. So dependent on something to satisfy the emptiness they don't know how to give to God to fill. Its so draining, but I know that God is using us to love them. I do love them. My heart aches for them as I see their lives fall apart. As I see how decisions ruin lives. How lies dig you deeper and cause so. much. pain.
My heart is burdened but hopeful.
2 comments:
joanna you have such a precious heart. God is using you and Robby, and the kids, in so many ways.
tying in both of your posts-- it is so easy to be comfortable and either not share the gospel or our love and concern, or to only share with those whom we get along with, or a sweet little old lady. it is NOT easy, NOT comfortable to love and share Christ with those who are so so broken and at war with such deadly and scary things. you are helping fight their fight, and not everyone would do that, put their family in the middle of it, and be in it with their whole heart like you guys are.
thank you for being such a godly example of not only a wife and mom, but in your daily ministry. love you sweet friend.
I'll be your bandaid sweetie. Love you.
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